sweet lOves_____________

Disgrace Themes: Group Work

2010-08-07T00:33:00.000+08:00

Theme	Pg	Quote	Explanation
Power
	111	If the ghosts of Lucy’s violators still hover in her bedroom, then surely they ought to be chased out, not allowed to take it over as their sanctum.	The attackers still hold power over Lucy in the form of being the cause of Lucy’s fear.
	142	(German always to hand with an appropriately blank abstraction)	The power of language or the lack of language to convey what may be too unsavoury to be expressed in a certain language, in another language.
	197	Grey and featureless, it stands on an eminence east of the old farmhouse; in the mornings, he guesses, it must cast a long shadow	Symbolic of Petrus’ power in that he has greater influence now and also the effect of the imagery is that of intimidation.
	198	I have a life of my own, just as important to me as yours is to you, and in my life I am the one who makes the decisions.	Lucy’s desire to control her own life coupled with the indignation and resentment felt by Lurie’s abrupt interference in her life results in the release of her dissatisfaction.
Loss of Power/Disempowerment	80	A low, gurgling snarl come from its throat; its powerful hindquarters strain. Awkwardly he joins in the tussle, pressing the dog’s hind legs together, forcing it to sit on its haunches… he passes a belt around its body and she buckles it.	The animal is forcefully put into submission for its treatment. It loses the power over its own body through the dominance of the concerted effort of Lurie and the others. The treatment of animals may be considered harsh here since there is a notable lack of anaesthetic which would have lessened its pain.
	107	Ina while the organism will repair itself, and I, the ghost within it will be my old self again.	The connotation of the word ‘ghost’ is that of powerlessness and incompletion. Lurie has been made even more powerless from the attack, on a physical plane as well.
	110	Contemptible, yet exhilarating, probably, in a country where dogs are bred to snarl at the mere smell of a black man.	Changing power roles are such that reminders of the old power roles are eliminated, as in revenge.
	136	Can he borrow tools, and can David help him fit the regulators?	There exists a change in power roles that allows Petrus a black man, to make such ‘requests’ of Lurie, a white man, that is in opposition to the apartheid era.
	138	I will protect her	Lurie does not have the power to protect Lucy which is why she has to turn to Petrus for protection.
	140	You have to let go of your children, David. You can’t watch over Lucy forever.	As a parent, Lurie is also losing power over his daughter, Lucy. However, he has failed to realise that he has lost power over her a long time ago.
	140	Without Petrus Lucy wouldn’t be where she is now… she owes him a lot.	There are changing power roles in the country with the whites having to increasingly depend on the blacks for their own survival.
	200	But I can’t order him off the property, it’s not in my power.	Pollux having sought protection from Petrus is now impervious to Lucy or Lurie’s wishes as Petrus is the one holding the largest share of power currently.
	202	This is not how we do things	Whites’ loss of power. The rise of the colonised is at the cost of the fall of the coloniser.
	204	I will become a tenant on his land	Reverse colonialisation is in play with Petrus colonising Lucy’s land.
Gender and Power	81	He has never seen a tessitura from close by. The veins on her ears are visible as a filigree of red and purple. The veins of her nose tool. And the chin that comes straight out of her chest, like a pouter pigeon’s. As an ensemble, remarkably unattractive.	Lurie objectifies Bev Shaw. The tone that is adopted is almost like that of examining a product and passing judgement on it.
	111	Of what women undergo at the hands of men.	Women are subjected to abuse and violations at the hands of men simply because they are a voiceless entity in the male dominated society.
	141	Where rape is concerned, no man can be where the woman is	The oppressor can never understand the oppressed. The violator can never understand the violated.
	198	But I am not having an abortion.	It is Lucy’s body, Lucy has the power to keep the babe or not.
	198	This has nothing to do with belief. And I never said I took Ovral.	Lucy wants to control her situation, her body. There is a distinct sense of feminism in Lucy as she is steadfast in her desire to control
	198	I am a woman… Do you think I hate children? Should I choose against the child because of who the father is?
	202	He will marry her… I will marry.	The tone taken is one of assertion indicating the power that Petrus has and is used to as typical in a patriarchal society as in the context of the novel.
	203	In any event, it is not me he is after, he is after the farm. The farm is my dowry.	Lucy has been reduced to a piece of land. In return for protection, Lucy must sell herself, although she has become the secondary good and is only desired for because of the land she owns. She is worth nothing more than her land and with the sale, loses her power.
	203	He is offering an alliance, a deal. I contribute the land, in return for which I am allowed to creep under his wing.
		Objectively, I am a woman alone. I have no brother. I have a father, but he is far away and anyhow powerless in the terms that matter here… practically speaking, there is only Petrus left. Petrus may not be a big man but he is big enough for someone small like me.	As a result of her gender, Lucy is powerless to defend herself against unwarranted intrusions into her property/life etc. hence; she seeks the protection of the one who does hold power in the terms that matter in the countryside – Petrus. His authority extends far enough for Lucy’s protection.
	204	Say he can put out whatever story he likes about our relationship and I won’t contradict him
	205	She cannot last: leave her alone and in due course she will fall like rotten fruit.
Honour and Dignity
	139	But I can’t leave Lucy on the farm. She isn’t safe.	By making such insinuations of Lucy’s helplessness, Lurie is in effect stripping Lucy of her dignity to live independently in the countryside.
Lack of honour and dignity	85	No classes. No one too high and mighty to smell another’s backside.	With the dogs, the human concepts of honour and dignity fade away, leaving only the primal instinct of animals that would eventually act as a foundation as a fresh start for Lucy.
	146	But the dogs are dead; and what do dogs know of honour and dignity anyway?	Lurie realises that perhaps honour and dignity are not so important anymore; that when one is at the bottom of the heap, honour and dignity are merely notions of another world and time.


Loss of honour and Dignity	85	Not just in trouble. In what I suppose one would call disgrace.	From observing the animals, Lurie perhaps find it easier to let go of his misplaced honour and dignity and admit the true sate he is in.
	86	Practice for old age, he admonishes himself. Practice fitting in. Practice for the old folks’ home Note: CR to ‘proper business of the old. Preparing to die’ or something like that… >.<	Lurie begins to accept his disgrace and thereby begins to let go of what he perceives to be his honour and dignity.
	106	In the cramped little bathroom Bev Shaw unwinds the bandages… she does not speak while she works. He recalls the goat in the clinic, wonders whether, submitting to her hands. It felt the same peacefulness.	Through seeking Bev Shaw’s assistance in changing his dressings, Lurie has seemingly abandoned a large part of his former conceived honour and dignity, in that he allows her to see him in such a disgraced state. Also, his relation to the goat further emphasises Lurie’s relinquishing of his former dignity in that he should compare himself to such a creature. Lurie has undergone much change and transformation whilst in the countryside.
	146	Well, now he has become a dog-man: a dog undertaker; a dog psychopomp; a harijan	Lurie no longer clings onto his notions of status and such, but it does not matter to him any more for he has fallen far below the levels of disgrace to even care about the importance of status, or even disgrace any more.
	203	In any event, it is not me he is after, he is after the farm. The farm is my dowry	Lucy is stripped of her honour and dignity to become worth nothing more than a piece of land in return for protection. She has to reduce herself to become like an object; to be traded according to pleasure of those who hold power in order to sustain herself. However, perhaps what Lucy has chosen is what South Africa needs – to start on a clean slate, afresh, with the acceptance of their disgrace.
	203	He is offering an alliance, a deal. I contribute the land, in return for which I am allowed to creep under his wing.
	205	How humiliating… such high hopes, and to end like this
	205	To start at ground level. With nothing. Not with nothing but. With nothing. No cards, no weapons, no property, no rights, no dignity. Like a dog.
Preservation of honour and dignity	108	He stands back, leaves it to Lucy to take them through the story she has elected to tell.	Lucy chooses to leave out the details of her rape so as to preserve what remaining honour and dignity she has left.
	109	In Lucy’s room the double bed is stripped bare
	110	It will dawn on them that over the body of the woman silence is being drawn like a blanket. Too ashamed, they will say to each other, too ashamed to tell…	In leaving out the details of her rape, is Lucy truly preserving the remainders of her honour? Or is it actually striping even more of it from her?
	144	He is not prepared to inflict such dishonour upon them… he himself loads them, one at a time, on to the feeder trolley…	Lurie, having undergone much change and transformation, sees it as his duty to ensure that the dogs at least have a proper sending off despite their undignified means of death.
	196	But something in her tone nags at him	Lucy does not tell Lurie of her pregnancy and troubles for the sake of preserving her dignity in front of Lurie.

Violence
	107	The events of yesterday have shocked him to the depths. The trembling, the weakness are only the first and most superficial signs of that shock.	Lurie having been from the city is unaccustomed to the physical manifestation of violence that was abruptly emptied on himself and more so, Lucy during the attack.
	107	… he will be like a fly-casing in a spider-web
	107	Just an after-effect, he tells himself, an after-effect of the invasion.	Lurie having referred to the attack as an invasion brings across the effect of the attack having been not merely a physical one, but a psychological one as well – it is a violation.
	110	I don’t know whether insurance policies cover massacres.	The dogs were not simply killed; they were brutally murdered according to Lucy, as in a massacre.
	138	She loves the Eastern Cape, she wants to make her life here, she wants to get along with everyone. But how can she do that when she is liable to be attacked by thugs who then escape scot-free?	Violence is not the answer to harmony within the country.
	144	The dead leg caught in the bars of the trolley, and when the trolley came back… the dog would as often as not come riding back too, blackened and grinning, smelling of singed fur… the workmen began to beat the bags with the backs of their shovels before loading them to break the rigid limbs.	The corpses of animals are given little respect, they are treated inhumanely.
	199	What kind of child can seed like that give life to, seed driven into the women not in love but in hatred, mixed chaotically, meant to soil her, to mark her, like in dog’s urine?	The child in Lucy’s womb is similar to new South Africa in that it too was created in violence. However, despite the violent process, there can be progress should this new entity not be created.
	201	Petrus scrapes his knife clean	Connotations of violence. The violence could be due to the racial tensions between the whites and blacks as a result of the long accumulations of grievances during the apartheid era.
	201	He takes the pipe from his mouth, stabs the air vehemently with the stem.
	202	It is not finished. On the contrary, it is just beginning. It will go on long after I am dead and you are dead	The impacts of violence/ apartheid carries on as the mistakes of the past are revisited in the present.
	202	But here… it is dangerous, too dangerous	A reminder of the violence strife in the context of the novel and the country as well.
	204	It is just a matter of time before Ettinger is found with a bullet in his back.	The situation of the whites in South Africa is volatile and highly unfavourable.
Justice VS Injustice
	107	As for the men who visited them, he wishes them harm, wherever they may be, but otherwise does not want to think about them	Lurie seems to be uncaring towards seeking justice for the attack at this juncture; however, it is evident that he does want justice from the harm he wishes upon them.
	110	The dog with the hole in its throat still bares its bloody teeth. Like shooting fish in a barrel.	For their mistreatment and death, the dogs do not reap the rewards of justice. This is perhaps symbolic of the injustice done to the Blacks during the apartheid era that were simply glossed over or un-noted.
	112	You want to know why I have not laid a particular charge with the police…	Lucy, being more cognizant of the situation and circumstances revolving herself and Lurie, understands informing the police of her disgrace would be redundant and that the concept of justice and injustice holds no power in darkest South Africa.
	112	I don’t agree. Do you think that by meekly accepting what happened to you, you can set yourself apart… that is not how vengeance works, Lucy.	Lurie and Lucy’s opinions on what constitute justice and the need for justice is different as a result of the difference in their environment over the past years. Lurie wishes for the punishment to befall the attackers be it through the judicial system or what not and is clearly bitter when he finds to his dismay that it would not be so – at least not to his knowledge.
	137	Tell me the boy’s name and whereabouts and I will pass on the information to the police. Then we can leave it to the police to investigate and bring him and his friends to justice.
	138	But how can she do that when she is liable to be attacked at any moment by thugs who then escape scot-free?
	200	And now young Pollux returns to the scene of the crime and we must behave as if nothing has happened
	112	Do you hope you can expiate the crimes of the past by suffering in the present?	Lucy carries the white-man’s burden thereby it is fitting that she too suffers an injustice to make up for the injustices her ancestors heaped upon the blacks.
		He is just a youth, he cannot go to jail, that is the law, you cannot put a youth in jail, you must let him go!	The young are not subjected to justice due to their age. How then, can justice be sought should a child be the offender?
	167	So… how the mighty have fallen	The disgrace of Lurie being the justice served for his actions towards Melanie.
	172	In my own terms, I am being punished for what happened between myself and your daughter. I am sunk into a state of disgrace from which it will not be easy to lift myself
	173	Is that enough? ... Will that do? If not, what more?	Since justice is an intangible notion, there is no way for an amount of justice served to be determined, hence causing the uncertainty in the redemption seeking process.
	199	… rapists cum tax gatherers roaming the area…	Lucy does not deem the lack of action regarding the attack to be an injustice as she feels that she owes those who have attacked her on account of her staying on the land. She unwittingly carries the white mans’ burden.

2009-05-18T22:07:00.003+08:00

Hello!!

I decided to share a rather heart-warming experience I had gone through last saturday ( 16 may 09) =). It was quite funny actually. Mark and I were on our way home after watching the play "Proof" by David Auburn. We were at Outram Park interchange when this muslim lady asked us for directions to Woodlands. We gave it to her but the thing is, we gave her the wrong directions! *Oops!!!* We had only just realized it when we met her again!! *Thank God!* We gave her the 'correct' set of directions and the kind old thing hugged me =D She didn't hug Mark as he's a guy and she was supposed to be praying or something.. Lol... So i hugged him for her XP. She also did the whole kiss both cheeks thing. Lol... It was quite nice actually. She was all warm and cuddly.. LOL!!!

The important thing is, that the most coincidental meetings are usually the work of Daddy God to bless you =) The blessing in this occurance has another side to it actually but I won't go into that XP. But yeah, God's fingerprints were definately on this. =)

Blasted teenagers

2009-05-17T01:11:00.002+08:00

This is getting annoying.

Is society set to follow a fixed mindset that is absolute rubbish? What has become of society? Of the community? Of the younger generation that would one day shape the world?

Why can't people of opposite sexes have a platonic relationship? Why do people start questioning the nature of that relationship? I don't understand. Must relationships with a person of an opposite sex be of a romantic one, first and foremost? It scares me to think that, that is the the first conclusion people come to when presented with such an occurance. Three times I have been asked and in all three my answer was the same. No. We're only friends. This is seriously getting old. It's time to wake up and take a new stand. Society has to form another mindset and fast before all relations with the opposite gender becomes put under scruntiny. Blasted teenagrs.

2009-03-23T21:26:00.001+08:00

Free Speech vs. Censorship - Opinion

2009-01-31T14:54:00.002+08:00

Hello!

This person has been posted to Tampines Junior College. No I am not hysterical. Afterall, in the end what really matters is getting into Uni. The JC doesn't matter. Anyway, I, along with a few other friends, have appealed to Merdian JC. Its worth a shot I guess. There's nothing to lose anyway. =)

Anyway, school starts on Monday and I am verily worried about oversleeping. I knew I should not have procrastinated sleep adaptation for this long. Damn it. Oh well, with the help of morning calls, I will hopefully not be late for the first day of school. =)

2009-01-29T03:42:00.003+08:00

I'm hungry.

Yes, I do realise that it is currently three nearing to four in the mornin. Yes, I am still very wide awake and am currently contemplating the risks of sneaking out into the kithen and partaking in a meal consisting of instant noodles. *Ohhowpatheticlifehasbecome*

Anyway, I have just procured a new season of CSI. *YAY!!!* Thus, I have indulged myself by having CSI marathon of season 7. It has been fascinating! I am proud *ornotsoproud* to say that : I have completed CSI season 7 in less than 48hrs time! *applauds self* Haha!

At this moment I have come to a conclusion that there woyld be no Instant noodles for this hungry one thus night. It has turned out that Uncle D is currently perched on the living couch, enjoying a football match between Liverpool and some other random team. I shadn't even begin to expound on my distaste for such an activity especially with regards to the team involved. It would consume too much of this entry. So you are spared from my tirade, for now.

I have just been reminded of a lunch appoinyment due tomorrow. I must admit it is something I rather dread. Tomorrow I am to meet with my father. While I am not entirely uncomfortable with meeting him, I confess to a sense of apprehension. After all, we have not been on good terms for quite some time now. The blame for this would be on my shoulders. The reason for this is really something I have no wish for elaboration. To continue from above, it irks me that the primary reason I am to meet with him tomorrow, or should I say today, is to collect alimony which in truth, lawfully belongs to me. Has our relationship downgraded to thus? *haveicausedittobethus* I now shall now retire to engage in an extremely important activity - Sleep. Wish me luck for later! =)

2009-01-26T01:04:00.005+08:00

Hello!! Happy Chinese New Year!! =D This year would definatel be blessed be Daddy God! 2009 is the favorable year of the Lord. Meaning, free favours as well as salvation freely abounds! YAY!!! Haha.. Anyway, Today *26 Jan 09* is also Jaejoong's Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAEJOONGIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

생일 축하합니다 김재중!!!!!!!!!!

This is my 'gift' to Jaejoong on his special day!

2009-01-15T22:08:00.003+08:00

I hate it that you do that.

Do you seriously think I am totally fine with the way things are? Do you think that I'm not worried about the posting exercise as much as you are?! That's all you ever do - Jump to conclusions. Not certaining the facts before making accusations. Accusing people of things they are innocent of. Not believing in the people around you. *especiallyme* If I was not worried about the posting exercise would I be running around, combing for details with regrads to the schools and such?! If I was not worried would I be having nightmares of repeating Sec4 or getting into terrible schools?! IF I WAS NOT WORRIED WOULD I BE THIS STRESSED OVER THIS STUPID EXERCISE?!?! You don't know me at all. You think you do but you just don't and sometimes I doubt if you ever will. Is adding unto my torment rejuvenating for you? Does my pain give you pleasure? Do you have to rub salt into my GAPING wounds?!?! I'm sorry if I disappointed you by not scoring up to your ridiculous standard! I'm sorry for not going by DSA because I couldn't stand to stay in choir any longer. And I want to thank you for rubbing it in that I would not be in this situation had I applied for DSA. Thanks alot Mother. You have my eternal gratitude.

2009-01-13T21:42:00.003+08:00

Hello!

One day had passed since the... 'lovely' collection of the 2008 GCE O Level results.

Honestly, I'm shocked.

I must admit I felt that I didn't do too badly. While the grades wre not up to my expectations they weren't all that bad either. *itcouldhavebeenworse* The nights leading up to the collection were eventful. Weird dreams abounded. Anyway, here are my grades.

English - A1
Combined Humanites - A2 *surprisesurprise!*
Mathematics - A2
Additional Mathematics - B3
Physics - A2
Chemistry - B3
Biology - B3
Chinese - C5

Oh well... Not like there's anything more to be done. I'm just grateful it ain't any worse. =)

2008-11-28T00:44:00.002+08:00

I'll be in HongKong tomorrow onwards all the way to the 3rd of december.

How absolutely delightful.

Its not that I'm not excited, *okmaybeI'mnot>.<* its just that I'm not exactlt the best traveller. I don't like unfamiliar places. Lol... Its so troublesome to travel as well, with what all the luggages and all. What's more, the things one needs and is easily availed to in home may be downright bothersome to locate in another country. Haix... Oh well... It's not as if I have a choice... Darn it. = (

2008-11-23T19:25:00.001+08:00

He patched with her.

I hate him.

I hate her.

Most of all, I hate myself.

~~Ihatemyselfforfeelingthisway.Ihatemyselfforhatingyou.Ihatemyselfforhatinganinnocent.~~

2008-11-20T21:57:00.005+08:00

Today I was aked a very thought provoking question.

'Do you like me? As in romantically?'

I'm stunned. The worst part of the entire situation, I know not the answer. I don't know what to say. My mind is going into overdrive with all the internal arguing i'm doing; And yet, I know not what my heart is saying *liketheheartcansayanythinginthe1stplace.=.=* I need help. I have no idea what to do. I hate the way I'm feeling. I hate it that I'm in a complete lack of control. I hate it that I'm being pressed for an answer I don't have.

*Ihateitthatyoupushingmeisasignofthisjustbeingastupidcrushinsteadofitbeingtherealthingihateitthatiagreedtogotoamoviewithyou* Ihateithatyouonlysaythethingsyousaytomeusingtextmessagesandinsatantmessaging.HowcaniknowhattofellwhenIdon'tknowifthisisforreal*

Oh Abba, what should I do???

*IhateitthatIfeelsopainedwhenhesaidhehadbeenpropositioned*

I'm scared of this... development. another negative factor? The fact that I know he's an idiot. I wasn't prepared for this. Correction. Nothing could have prepared me for this. Now my screen name is even more applicable to my pathetic life. It hurts even more to stop. Help. Help. Help.

2008-10-11T00:33:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if anybody would cry if i died.

Would there be any tears left for a single soul?

Would there be sadness? would there be joy?

Life is so fragile... Emotions are so fragile.. Sometimes I'm so grateful to be alive. Other people out there are suffering and dying and yet I'm sitting comfortably at home pressing a keyboard, in an air-conditioned room.

Its kind of tragic.

Sometimes I don't know what's right and what's wrong. Confusion about the balance abounds. Will there ever be an end to tragedy?

So many questions, so few answers. To speak, or not to speak? To be, or not to be? The question for eternity. Well done William.

And yet would I be happier to know than to not? Are answers really all that important? There's gotta be more to life.

'Till the end, questions will never fade.

2008-09-22T19:59:00.002+08:00

Hello!

Got back the prelim results today...
The results weren't too bad but they weren't awesome either (T.T)

Anyway, in order to get into the JC most within reach right now I must ensure that my prelim results decrease to at least 11. Subtracting 4 from 11, I will have 7 points which should be sufficient to get into ACJC.

Haix....

My results are as folows :

English - A2 [ 71+]
A-Math - A2 [73+]
E-Math - B3 [69+]
Biology - A2 [73+]
Chemistry - *unknown* [Lol.... We haven't received P2 yet... =.=]
Physics - A1 [ 80 ]
Geography - B3 [ 65]
Social Studies - E8 [44]
Combined Humanities - C6 [54+]

Hence my L1R5 = 16 (TT.TT) Of course that's assuming my chemistry is more poorly than my e-math.... haix...

To obtain an 11 the followin subjects must decrease by at least this figure:

English - 1
A-Math - 1
Combined Humanities - 3

Naturally other combinations would work as well but that's what I'm going to focus on to obtain my 11. Lol... Haix...The hardships of a student... =.=

Lol...

2008-09-18T21:49:00.003+08:00

Hello!! This is my submission for the GM publication. Yes I know its looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong overdue but I simply kept forgetting to submit it. Hehex... Anyway I proudly present.....

Mirror

I have a special purpose in life for I am a mirror. For many years, I have been a mirror, reflecting the world for the one who cares to look.

Look at me, and you will see a somewhat attractive woman. Auburn locks cascading towards a lean body clothed in simple shirts and jeans. The same locks frame a face with sculpted cheekbones and more notably, endless ebony pools. What you do not see, however, is that those eyes function, not only for me, but for a person so intriguing, riveting and perplexing that he has fascinated me and changed my view upon the world, for the rest of eternity.

Dear Jayden is considered blind, for he can see merely smudges of the world. I care not, for he has me, his friend, his companion and his mirror. “Katie!” he would often call out to me, “What is that over there?” He looks to me, and I show him, reflecting the world that has surpassed and escaped his woefully inadequate eyes.

“A blue finch,” I say, or perhaps “a scarlet rose” or “saffron skies”. Often, we will wander in the park for hours on end, simply enjoying the world as it is. Though he may be considered blind by the condition of his eyes, I know that he is anything but. For when I describe all the astonishing visual wonders of the world, he contemplates them, and gives me another perspective; another way to regard them and my own world becomes even more colourful than before.

It often comes to me, upon these walks, that I am not the only mirror. For him, too, shows me what I might not have seen had I not looked within him, and he gives me a perspective attainable only by looking into the glass of his chalky eyes. I am a mirror, and he is as well—only when I look into him, I see not the physical, but the essence of whatever the entity may be.

More often than not, I fall into the simple habit of thinking of nothing but the outward visuals of the world. I am but a simple woman, and I have no need or truly possess much insight into reality. Description is more than enough for me, but for him—oh, for him!—it is but a beginning. He looks into me, and what he sees gives him a picture of the world, as I look into him and only begin to comprehend and see the whole new universe that lies beneath the naked eye.

I am a mirror. I reflect what must be seen by this precious, special man who cannot see it. Within my exterior is a reflection of the world that Jayden somehow sees marvellously clearly by me. By him, I gain more than I could ever imagine as my dull simple world of colours is bestowed definition.

Though I may reflect the world to him, he reflects the intrinsic nature of things to me. As I am his mirror of the natural world, he is my mirror of the true reality. Whoever said the blind could not see was blind.

Even now, I cannot profess to understand it.

END

So what do you think? Lol... Its rather weird, but what the heck! >.< Constructive comments would be greatly appreciated!! ^.^

Ciao!

2008-08-29T10:11:00.004+08:00

Hello!!

To all Teachers : Happy Teachers' Day!!!

Anyway, I am reviving my blog this time to post the pictures taken today with the teachers. ^.^
Thank you all random people for kindly obliging to assist in the photo-taking! ^.^

Anyway, I shall now quit jabbering and get to the objective of posting today. Enjoy the pics! =D

From left to right - Zoe, GekChuan, Mr. Koh, me & Wanying

From left to right - Zoe, WanYing, Mrs Theseira, me, GekChuan & JiaYing

Me, Ms Choong, Zoe & WanYing

WanYing, Mdm Eng, Me, Zoe & JiaYing

JiaYing, Zoe, Mrs Loh, Me & WanYing

2008-08-03T21:34:00.003+08:00

hello!

Yes, I realise I've not been posting in a rather long time. Hehex..

Anyway, I hate this 7th month thing. It makes my dearest mother extremely violatile. Seriously, she's like screaming and being totally pissed for no good reson now. Sheesh. How can you expect your kid to behave more maturely when you yourself are extremely prone to stupid childish tentrums?! Just because you have a low tolerance for the smoke and stuff doesnt mean you can just blow your top for no good reason! You have been living in this country for like your entire life! its time to GROW UP WOMAN! Damn its annoying. And its not my bleeding fault that the air refreshener was switched on ok? It was already in operation before I even stepped into the room. So stop blaming me. Besides, the person who turned it on did it for you. Your the one who hates the smell of the smoke. Hence the air- refreshener was in operation because of you. And you still complain and rage about it?! Get a Life! Argh. Great now your gonna start a stupid argument with someone who's like way older than you. Earth to mother - that person OWNS this house so learn to be tolerant or risk being kicked out. Damn I don't understand what's so difficult about holding your tongue. Especially when the person your pissed with holds the decision of kicking you out of HIS house. Oh yes, arguing with him over something like worship practices is SO mature.

Yes I realised that the 1st post I've produced in a while is extremely negative and not to mention disrespectful, but I am simple unable to withstand all that nonsense without making use of an outlet for much longer. I am currently ever greatful for the invention of the computer and the internet. They are blood pressure savers.

2008-07-07T21:11:00.003+08:00

Hello!

Happy Belated Youth Day!!

=D

I did absolutely nothing productive today! ^^ however, i had studied a tiny bit for tomorrow's geog test on sat but..... what the heck!! >.<

Anyway, this weeks youth service really changed my perspective of relationships between 2 ppl of the opposite gender. It helped me to differentiate and sort out feelings. Its rather hard to explain right now so I won't. ^.^ Anyway, Daddy God only wants the BEST for me so who am I to fight that? ^.^ I now know that all those proclamations were worth naught. Love and crushes are so different and now I know that when one says they 'love' you, it might not really be the case. Nonetheless, it was pretty upseting. Lol... [A/N NO its not who ya'll think it is!]

Now i will present the differences between true love and crushes as taken from the bible.

TRUE LOVE

Is patient [he'll wait for u and u'll wait for him. Does not pressurise the other into a relationship.]
Is kind and is an affection given regardless of merit. [ u may not deserve it but its still given]
Is respectful and giving
Is forgiving
Lives by the truth of God
Believes the best in truth and maturely accepts one's imperfections
Constant and enduring
Works through conflicts
A decision as much as its a feeling

Crushes

Is an instant desire you have towards someone
Is affection given to perceived value [ eg. position, beauty etc]
Is jealous and competitive [ eg. 'I haf a bf/gf cos all my frens haf one too!']
Is demanding and rude
Petty and keeps accounts of wrong doings
Lives solely by feelings
Chooses to be blind and to disregard the flaws tt one sees in reality
Rollercoaster of emotions
Shuns conflicts and confrontations
Nothing more than romance and feelings.

So now I know that what he felt was merely a crush and not the claimed love. That's kind of sad in a strange way. But no matter for I am made and created for the God-Kind of love that only Abba can satisfy and he only wants the very BESTEST for me!! ^.^

2008-07-04T19:55:00.003+08:00

Hello!!

Olivia is back~

Anyway, this has been a busy week filled with homework, studies and homework. Lol... There is going to be 3 tests next week [eeks!] - Geog, Chem and Bio. Must begin mugging. Lol... This post will be short as I gotta go mug and stuff... Besides this is to prove my blog aint dead. SEE ITS ALIVE!!!!!!! Lol...

~hearts!

2008-06-29T00:30:00.002+08:00

1)What disappoints you the most?

When I know I failed due to my lack of effort.

2)Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?

Tour of Europe

3)What’s your favorite thing to do?
Er... There's so many!!! Hanging with A&E ba...

4)Do you think money can buy happiness?

No... I believe happiness comes with money! >.< yes I'm $$ minded.. Sue me XP.

5)If u can have one dream to come true, what will it be?

To live a life free of restrictions and worries! ^.^

6)Do you believe you can survive without money?

NO!!! $$ IS OF GREAT IMPORT!!!!!!

7)Have you ever played an instrument?

Yeah, Grade 2 Piano, recorder... Lol... I even did abit of Guzheng once.. It was kinda painful... hehex...

8)If you win $1million, what will you do?

I'll make use of it to make more $$ so i can purchase ALL the stuff I want as well as bless others greatly!

9)What do you think of urself?

Er... I'm insane? Lol...

10)List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

FUN! NICE!! LAME!!!

11)What makes you happy?

Love, prosperity etcetc..

12)What type of person you hate most?

People who don't appreciate what they have. Which is why I kinda hate myself at times.. TT.TT

13)Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?

An upcoming corporate lawyer that's on her way to being blessed with a partnership.

14)If you have a superpower, what will it be?

Telekinesis.

15)What do you think is the most important thing of your life?

Daddy God.

16)If it's the end of world, what will it be your last wish?
That all my loved ones are saved.

17)If you have a chance to choose, will you want to go back in time? When will it be?
I don't wanna cos I'm not really fond of my childhood... Lol...

18)Which anime character you like most?

O.O Sesshomaru!! Gaara!!! Zero!! Saber!! Fuji Syussuke!! Archer!! Suigintou!! Rinku!!! Edward Elric!! Dark Mousy!! Roy Mustang!! Kaname!! Akabaru!! Aya!! Larva!! Miyu!! Dante!! Kaoru!! Hikaru!! Soubi!! Howl!! Rei!! Lucy!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOTNESS OVERLOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

19)Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him/her?
It really depends...

20)Choose between the love of your life and your friends.

Friends! But I believe that my friends will support me unless that person is really bad for me.. Lol.. However, i do hope that i'll never come to a point in my life whereby this decision has to be made..

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above, and add in your own personal question, make it a total of 20 quesion, then tag 8 people in your list. List them out and end this post. Notify them in their chatter box that he/she was tagged to do these quiz.

Zzz... I'm lazy... Forget it man.. >.<

2008-06-29T00:00:00.003+08:00

Hello!!

Yes I realized I have not posted in awhile... hehehx... I'm a lazy pig! ^.^

Anyway, I'm not gonna post about the Chinese oral cos its rather depressing... Besides, its SO over. So what the heck... I am officially done with chinese! ^.^ I must now become an English-woman. YAY! hahax..

Anyway, I have received the prize for having the best grades for English in the level. This means I get... [insert dramatic music here] a $20 budget to get a book/books from Kinokuniya! yay.
Sheesh, only $20? If we get to pick books from Popular it would be barely sufficient. However this is KINOKUNIYA. A good book would cost waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than $20. Haix... Oh well, at least it isn't a budget to shop for books at Borders. $20 would be be enough to pay for the front and back cover of the book as well as the plastic bag at Borders. Oh yeah, I can't get stationary or stuff cos its specifically stated that only books can be obtained. I'm not gonna get a notebook from Kinokuniya cos Popular has nicer ones... Bleh~ haix... Oh well.. Must be grateful. =.=
Btw, does anyone have any reccomendations on books at kinokuniya that is 'school-friendly' and costs less than or equal to $20? Thank u!!

I dun wanna do English homework... Its so boring... >.<>.<

2008-06-20T18:28:00.004+08:00

This is a really lame test but its rather interesting... Lol...

Put your music player on shuffle
Press forward for each question
Use the song title as an answer to the question.

TaDa!! lol....

-----------------------

How am i feeling today?

流行主教 [ Yay! =.=]

Will i get far in life?

不想长大 [ Ok? Is that a yes or a no?? ]

How do my friends see me?

Angel of Music [ Rite..........]

Where will i get married

Dear Mr. President [ Does that mean its gonna be at the White House or something?? >.<]

What is my best friend's theme song?

Wishing you were somehow here again [ rite............]

What is the story of my life?

I have seen the rain [ Totally... Its Singapore. Rain is rather common here..]

What's high school like?

Soulmate [ o.O ]

How can i get ahead in life?

All the things she said [ So i listen to all the things she said?? Btw, who's she??]

What is the best thing about me

How many times, how many lies [ So i can lie???]

What is today going to be like?

好人有好抱 [ A day of judgement and all??]

What's in store for u this weekend?

Cinderella [ ???]

What song describes my parents?

Think of me [ Well.... depends on which set of parents...]

To describe my grandparents?

Novacaine For The Soul [ That's rather disturbing.... FYI Novacaine is a type of anesthetic used to reduce pain during intramuscular injection of penicillion and for dentistry. ]

How is my life going?

She's the one [ooooooooook? So... i'm les. Rite... P.S. who's she??]

How does the world see me?

Don't cha [???]

Will i have a happy life?

Friends forever [... so the secret is to be friends forever??]

What do my friends really think of me?

Ever ever after [ That's rather scary...]

Do people secretely lust after me?

Numb/Encore [is that a yes or a no... I don't think I wanna know...]

How can i make myself happy?

曹操 [ So i start an empire and conquer others? Yay for world domination!!! >.<] What should i do with my life?

Conversations with my 13 year old self [ talk to the past me? Great, talking to urself is a sign of insanity... Oh well... I'm insane already anyway. ^.^]

Will i ever have children?

Mr. James Dean. [ So i gotta find a Mr. James Dean ey... ]

P.S. I took this from Zoe's blog. ^.^

2008-06-20T13:27:00.003+08:00

YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AWESOME!!!!

WHOOTS!!!!

BOO YEAH!!!!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HA!!!

Hahax!!! Yes I'm totally psycho!!! Whoots~ The point is.... GERMANY BEAT PORTUGAL!!!! YEAH! Muahahahahaha.. Gosh I feel on top of the world!

At first I was supporting France but after their miserable defeat, I decided to support Germany. Lol..

When I first saw the results just now, I totally screamed and rushed out of my room and began jumping up and down while screaming GERMANY WON! Lol... Mother thought I had gone nutso or something. XD

Just from watching the highlights it can be told that it was a beautiful game. Even the failed attempts to score had wonderful setups. It was awesome. ^.^

I wasn't able to watch the match last night due to reasons already stated, so Uncle D and I watched a replay of a match between Chelsea and Liverpool.
Its was the Carling cup of 2005. Liverpool lost.Frankly it was then that I considered them at their most dangerous. Afterall, that was the year they actually won the champions league. Lol..

I'm not sure if I really wanna support Liverpool anymore. I mean its painful watching them play. The magic simply isn't there anymore. They have world-class players but are not performing. I find myself deviating towards Chelsea. They play awesome football, they are comitted to their task, not to mention they're gonna get an awsome manager next season. Although I did say that I would support chelsea if they managed to get Torres, I don't really think that's important anymore. He's only one man, so what if Liverpool gets his Spanish buddy? 2 poeple won't be able to change the Liverpool game. Besides I feel that Rafael Benitez is not right for Liverpool. Under him, Liverpool has not been performing.

Unfortunetely, others seem to think that Benitez is the best person ever. Sheesh. He doesn't provide stability to the players with his famous swich-a-roo tactic. For example, when Crouch was at his peak, Benitez simply refused to play him. Like pur-lease, the guy is performing really well and you don't use that quality? Instead you use other sub-standard people like coughcoughsissokocoughcough. Dang its annoying!

Chelsea on the otherhand, has awesome players, an excellent soon-to-be-manager and a stable capital behind them. What's there not to support?
Some people say that Chelsea only buys all the good players and justs throws them all in there. Like, that's the way to do it in the first place! If your good, you get selected, if your poor, you don't. Like, that's common sense. Lol.. So while others may criticze that particular tactic, I don't. In fact I support it!

Hence, in the next season, Chelsea and Liverpool will be closely observed and compared. After the next season will my decision be made. May the best team win.

2008-06-20T00:26:00.002+08:00

hmph.

mother isn't allowing me to watch the Germany - Portugal match simply cos its too late and will disturb the maids cos the computer screen is too bright. FYI they are already asleep and I am currently using the computer! As for the late-thingy, its the holidays for pete's sake! that means NO school which equals no need to wake up early! Sheesh.. This is also uncle d's fault cos he refused to subscribe to the euro 2008 cup channel simply cos england didnt make it. Blimey, there are OTHER teams out there that are MUCH better than england. hmph. I know that I'm acting like a total brat but who cares?! Hmph.

2008-06-17T21:09:00.002+08:00

Hello!! ^^
Haven't posted in quite sometime.. Hehex... >.<
Anyway, I officially have a new domestic helper. Her name's Susami! However, Ti ain't going back just yet. She's going to 'train' Susami. Lol..

Went to the eye clinic today. According to the doctor, my eyeballs are very healthy. (=.=) LAME. So thanks to the foreign fluid that was introduced to my eyes, I had blurry vision all day. But it has passed now! =D hahax..

Went to Ikea as well! [Yes, I was walking all over the place against my will while I saw things funny] It is official. My family is the Singapore that purchases 130 hangers at one go. Lol... The meatballs were yummy though! (^.^)

Now I have to go and tackle the mountain of homework... Zzz...

2008-06-12T23:04:00.008+08:00

Hello!

YES!! I've finally arranged my links in alphabetical order! =D hahax... Have benn wanting to do that since... forever? Lol... *Groans* The mountain of homework is not getting any smaller... Gosh this sucks... Zzz... Not to mention I still have not figured out how to keep the blog music playing even when one is not at that part of the blog... *Sighs* This is so troublesome... Oh yeah, I rushed out my physics homework only to discover that, there was no time to go throught it. Haix.... Zzz... Oh well... the good news is, there is no good news! I have MORE homework now! Yay! Yes I'm feeling rather down for no good reason but nothing a good time of gaming will not take care of! ^^ Lol... I feel like playing Sims now... Yes I know its late... Ah what the heck. I'll just play it for the sake of playing it XD.

I know you're hurting cos I'm hurting too. I cannot, must not, will not like like you. It's simply not the time for that. I'm sorry but I think I'm falling for you too. It's not the right time but I can't help it. I'm missing you even now. I'm sorry. Please, forgive my inadequecies. I can't handle this right now. I'm sorry.

2008-06-12T11:44:00.003+08:00

Hello!

I had a cute cake for breakfast today! =D

Zzz... Must begin tackling the mountain of homework... Oh shucks, I still have physics tution homework. Bleh~ I don't want to do it!!! But I have to... *sighs* Will now attempt a self-motivation tactic as learnt from a certain physics teacher [XD]... Yes! I can do it! JiaYou! [XD XD] Oh yeah, this is the cake i had this morning! >.<

2008-06-12T00:34:00.007+08:00

Hello!! I'm currently in love with this song! Unfortunetely, they don't have it on imeem. =(
So, I have no choice but to put up the mv instead. Enjoy!!

愛錯 - 王力宏

北风毫不留情
把叶子吹落
脆弱的她选择了逃脱
叶子失去消息
风才感觉寂寞
整个冬天
北风的痛没人能说

Chorus
我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过
所以爱错
我从哪里起飞
从哪里降落
多少不能原谅的错
却不能重来过

翻开回忆角落
完美的生活
以为幸福都可以掌握
仔细回味当初
那个故事背后
Oh 原来是我
犯下从没承认的错

Chorus

在这少了你的世界
Oh 找不回那些感觉
其实我不想道别
那些过去

我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过
所以爱错 (从来没有爱过那么认真)
我从哪里起飞
从哪里降落
多少不能原谅的错
却不能重来过
我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过
所以爱错
我从哪里起飞
从哪里降落
多少不能原谅的错
请你原谅我的爱错

2008-06-11T22:30:00.002+08:00

Hello!!

Went to celebrate WanYing's birthday with JiaYing, GekChuan, YingRu and Bear^2 today! ^_^ It was awesome!!

We watched Kungfu Panda. It was rather interesting actually.... Er... cancel that... It was lame to the point of being funny XD. Lol... Frankly, I'm rather fond of the bad guy.. [Tai Lang]. I find that he's cooler than the other but that's just my POV >.<

Anyway, after that, we went to Suntec City to play arcade! WanYing kind of wandered around the place until she finally decided to ask me where a certain place was.. Lol.. [Yes.. I know Suntec like the back of my hand... =.=... What do you expect? I go there like at LEAST once a week! >.<]
We played a variety of games. Naturally DDR was on the list. XD. They played Rekken 6 [spelling?]. It was awesome! We were cheering and being total girls XD. Meanwhile, JiaYing was off at the drumset. I joined her at the guitar set. Lol... Had FUN! =D

Then we went to the Manga Cafe. The food wasn't amazing but it wasn't bad either. However, WY, GC, YR and Bear^2 had to leave without eating 1st for tuition. =(

Oh yeah, THANK U WANYING FOR THE EGG TART!! *It was YUMMY!!* =D

2008-06-10T20:00:00.002+08:00

Hello!!

I attended an outing with Zoe, Wendy and Da Jie today! It was fun!
We went to kallang Leisure park to ice-skate and had pastamania for 'lunch' [actually a better term to use would be tea seeing that we ate at 3.40+, but the stuff we ate was definately to be eaten for lunch... Hehex ]
Yummy!! =)

Then we decided to go to take neoprints. We went to suntec city for that. [ Yes. One can take neoprints at suntec. The arcade has the machine required ] Unfortunetely I can't post the neoprints seeing that my scanner is not working. Dang. Anyway, after taking the neoprint, we played at the arcade. Zoe and Dajie went to shoot some hoops, then they played percussion master and finally Zoe and I played DDR. ~Whoots! [Wendy didn't play at all lol... =( ]

On the way home, I decided to purchase some stuff. To my horror, and auntie suddenly accousted me in the shop and asked me to translate for her. Obviously I failed badly. TT.TT But I survived! Yay!

Currently I am attempting to arrange tomorrow's outing. Gosh it's so annoying. Sheesh...
Lol...

2008-06-09T14:06:00.002+08:00

hello...
I am currently doing homework. Sad to say the moutain is still large but I will try.
Dang i'm bored. Homework is so annoying. Sheesh. Now working on the enormous amount of physics homework. Falling asleep already. Zzz...

2008-06-06T22:47:00.003+08:00

Hello!!

Yes I am finally back to blogging!

This is all thanks to Dr. Benedict Lin who has clearly stated that blogging is very educational and can assist people in obtaining their A1. Thus, I have resurrected my blog and will try to post regularly from now on. ---- In proper english of course (>.<) However, emoticons will still be used as there is no point in using a computer to type and stuff if one cannot use emoticons and such. (LOL) Anyway, today Zoe, Sakinah and I went to a certain place in Singapore to obtain certain goods. (NO we are not drug trafficking!) It was fun! Especially the ice-cream part! I had much fun today! However due to time constraints I shadn't bother with lengthy, long-winded descriptions. That's for a certain teacher to handle, NOT me! (>.<)

Adieu! (^__^)

Damn it! I'm sick and tired of your behaviour! Please note that the world does NOT revolve around you. Is it THAT difficult to give an answer when asked? Also, do learn some manners. I cannot comprehend how is it that saying a simple sorry is so trying. I'm sorry but if you do not wake up and face the music this 'friendship' will eventually be over. Get the (super obvious) hint for crying out loud!

2008-01-07T18:04:00.000+08:00

i regret what i did
i was completely out of line...
i had no authority to berate them at all...
i'm ashamed that i lost control
they are young,
they do not have the level of maturity that i,
as an older person have...
i should not have done what i did
no matter how maddening they can be
i shouldn't have shouted at them...
it was wrong of me to do so...
i just wanna say...
i'm sorry...

2007-12-27T23:26:00.000+08:00

what the hell...
ungrateful idiot
you think i'm some amazing cleaning woman who can do like 20 things at once?!
sorry for not having the time to keep the clothes cos i was cooking YOUR friggin dinner...
i have a life too okay.
i am not gonna cancel tuition just to keep your stupid clothes...
and if your not gonna have dinner at home why do you even bother if i cook at all?!
and what's with the whole 'wait until you're older to have a relationship' talk?!
you seriosly think that i dont know what i should be doing right now?!
i'm not some desperate fool okay?!
i know what i need to do right now
didn't stop to think that i had a brain did you.
and yes i'm fully capable of washing the friggin clothes..
you're the one that insists on doing it in the middle of night..
are you crazy? NOBODY does it at night...
its night time for goodness sake... it means that there's no sun around!
i am fully able to wash them at my own convenience... your the one who took it up and am now complaining to me about it...
WHAT'S YOUR FRIGGING PROBLEM??!!!??!!
man...
ungrateful idiot...
at least mummy approves...
stupid basket...
just shut up and go back to your own sweet world where there's no such thing as studies and time for yourself...
freak
freak
freak

2007-12-25T08:05:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!!! ^__^

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

lol... >< hahax... anyway.. this year has been exciting lol... with what the syf, dec 1 concert, arts nite etc etc... lol... it has been fun... ^_^

while i'm glad that a new year has come, i'm also quite scared for 2008... lol... the o levels and all... haix... anyway praying for a blessed year and blessed results...

To everyone : have a blessed christmas and a blessed new year.. may daddy god bless ya'll with the blessings of deuteronomy[ spelling?] 28 and with the blessings of Abraham... and may all your (good) wishes come true and the light of God shine on you and may God grant you his Shalom peace... Also, may music follow you where-ever you go... ><

lol i sound so..... church-ish.... [does that word even exist???] anyway...

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

Amazing

The morning cold and raining dark
before the dawn could come
how long in twilight waiting
longing for the rising sun

oh~oh
oh~oh

You came like crashing thunder
breaking through these walls of stone
You came with wide eyed wonder
Into all this great unknown

oh~oh
Oh~oh

Hush now don't you be afraid
I promise you I'll always stay
I'll never be that far away
I'm right here with you

Chorus
You're so amazing
you shine like the stars
you're so amazing
the beauty you are
you come blazing right into my heart
so amazing you are
you are

You came from heaven shining
breath of God still fresh on you
the beating heart inside me
crumbled at this once anew

oh~oh
oh~oh

no matter where or how far you wander
for a thousand years or longer
I will always be here for you
right here for you

Chorus

I hope your tears are few and fast
I hope your dreams come true at last
I hope you find love that goes
on and on and on and on and on
I hope you wish on every star
I hope you never fall too far
I hope this world can see
how wonderful you are

Chorus [X2]

2007-12-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! ^_^ here it is... the AMV for the song Amazing by Janelle...

Woah i spent quite some time on this nya.. lol... anyway this vid is sort of like a commendation for all the amazing people I know... I wanna thank ya'll for being such amazing people and thanks even more for sharing some of your amazing-ness with me...

[Please DO NOT freak if you see your face in this vid... lol...]

I SO DO NOT OWN ANYTHING WITH REGARDS TO THIS VIDEO... THE SONG AND PICS BELONG TO THE PEOPLE WHO CREATED THEM...

Amazing - Janelle

2007-12-09T18:07:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! ^_^ have been working on an video for this song 'Amazing' by Janelle... it is awesome... the song i mean... XP... but seriously... this song is amazing... will upload the video I created when its done ^_^ hahax...

2007-12-08T12:27:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! hahax... wa... 15 liao >< oh ya...

THANK YOU to all the people who have wished me 'happy b'day' I *HEART* YA'LL!!! ^^

hahax... went to this french restaurant Au Petit Salut for dinner yesterday night... wa... its very.... frenchy... lol... but seriously... it was awesome!! ^^ hahax... oh ya... will post the pics from the west coast outing later or something.. lol..

HAD SO MUCH FUN!!! hahax... Thank you ZOE for organizing the outing! ^^

as for my feelings on turning 15... well... there's not much difference... ><

WILL SEE EVERYONE WHEN SCHOOL STARTS!! ^^

2007-12-02T00:27:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! the concert is finally over nya!! ^^ hahax... yes im very HIGH now! hahax... anyway... about tonight i just wanna say THANK U to everyone who came! ^^ and thank u XIUPING for the sunflower! ^^

oh ya... its kinda funny but i wasnt nervous tonight... i was mostly numb actually... just wanted to get the thing over and done with... lol... i was thinkin about how the faster the concert ended, the faster i can go for supper and the faster i can get home.. lol... and not to mention the concert actually felt like a rehersal to me XD i'm kinda wondering if i'm normal.. lol...

Anyway, to all GM choir members : WELL DONE!!! I'M SUPER SUPER SUPER PROUD OF YA'LL!! KEEP BRINGING MUSIC EVERYWHERE U GO NYA!!! ^^

oh ya... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAYING!!!

after the concert i went out with wendy, zoe, gc, marcus, kenny, and zoe's RI friends... we went to Carl's JR... YUM!!! hahax...

kinda sad now lol... this is like the last major major concert i'll be taking part in in this choir... *sobs* haix... oh well... must keep looking forward! GAMBATTE!!!

2007-11-30T12:07:00.001+08:00

HELLO!!! nya.... the concert's tomorrow nya... kinda scared very excited... lol... haix... really hoping that the conet will be a success nya... Praying for health and favour with the audience nya... anyways... To all the people who are coming tomorrow... THAK YOU!!!

2007-11-27T19:08:00.000+08:00

just finished watching NANA the movie... hahax... cried and cried nya... hahax... and i dunno why im crying nya... hahax... and yes im laughing and cryin at the same time... lol...

2007-11-27T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hello!! This is Endless Story by Yuna Ito form the movie NANA... Its an amazing movie nya!!! hahax... highly reccomended... especially if u enjoy jap and rock-ish music XD... when i first watched the complete movie i cried a bit nya... especially during the part when nana is sending off ren to at the train... dam sad nya... haix... even now oso feel like cryin but not gonna cry anymore nya! ^^

Endless Story by Yuna Ito as Reira

2007-11-26T23:42:00.001+08:00

HELLO!!! ^^... found out that the less sleep one has, the more hyper one is for the rest of the day! hahax... seriously nya... sleep so much -> v little energy... sleep v little -> HIGH!! hahax... maybe cos the body is running on adrenaline... >< yayness!! i sound like a bio student! hahax.. lol... sian... tmr after choir still got tuition T.T... haix... there goes the holiday nya... dang i haven finish my tuiton homework yet O.O dam dam dam!!! haix... nevermind... at the most tomorrow after choir rush home do.. or i can do now and be high again tomorrow... hmmm decisions decisions... lol...

2007-11-25T19:46:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! I'm currently giving my black files a brazilian waxing... only instead of honey im using hot water and scotch tape XD... its works nya!! hahax... and it is so much less expensive... only prob is that the water bill may be a little bit more expensive ><... hahax... lol...

2007-11-24T23:49:00.000+08:00

i had a minor fallout with her earlier...
while its pretty small...
it hurts so much more than all the others...
why?
i dun understand...
everytime i say that im gonna do something, she'll go "u sure anot? if i catch u doing something else.../ U? ya rite.../ really arh.../ i dun believe u will do it... etc etc...
facing that most of the time, who can blame me for not telling her what i intend to do?
i forgot about those answers today...
i told her what i planned to do this holidays [ start preparing for the O's] she said "You are REALLY gonna do that arh..." b4 she could finish i decided that i had had enough...
"Fine... Don't believe me..."
i muttered that... im surprised that she heard it...
then i received a passioned lecture about how she didnt like my attitude and how i have done that[muttering under breath about her disbelief] many times but she didnt say anything and how i had better change etc etc...
i was sad...
i went to the bathroom and just stood there, shaking... i wanted to cry so bad... but i simply didnt allow myself to... it, to me... is a weakness i cant afford...
so the rest of the visit to granny's was spent by me maintaining control over my stupid tear glands...

thinking back... i cant seem to find the last time when i had said "... dont believe me..." and since she hasnt been back for quite some time, i fail to remember other times when i had uttered that statement...
but as per norm, im the one at fault...

she says that she's joking when she says all those things... she doesnt know that it is the most cruel joke to a child... everytime she says those things, its as if my heart was taken out and stabbed with a blunt knife...
i feel as if i cant achieve anything...
as if im the most imcapable person on this earth...
and so i eventually stopped trring to achieve...
until i stopped talking about plans for the immediate future, i kept falling into the pit in my heart...
so i eventually stopped telling her stuff...
and i crawled out of the abyss...
and now im falling back into it...
i noe it but i cant seem to stop...
what is left of the innocence ripped?

2007-11-23T17:36:00.000+08:00

ever felt sad for no particular reason? well... that's how i feel now... i feel stupid too... and empty... and a wish to cry but tears cant form... wad the b****y hell is wrong wif me?? Im too young for an emotional crisis! cant that wait until im like 30 or so?

Just feel like the thrill of life has passed... everything is so mundane... the electricity of life are at such a low volt that i cant feel it anymore... and dam its irritating...

and there's gonna be tuition soon... i detest that as well... the teacher just makes me feel like a total retard... maybe i am one afterall...

2007-11-23T17:22:00.000+08:00

Regarding A-math,
i have come to a perfect conclusion...

I,
Olivia Ong,
Of Sec 3,
absolutely,
undoubtedly,

DESTEST
ABHOR
LOATHE

Partial Fractions!!!

man im trying to do my tuition hw and i can even do ONE freakin partial fraction ques!! ARGH!!!!

2007-11-23T13:39:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! these are some meaningful phrases that were sent to me some time ago... lol... its in chinese but at least i understand it nya!! ^^

1 ）没有100 分的另一半只有 50分的两个人

2 ）付出真心才会得到真但也可能伤得彻底
保持距离能保护自己却也注定永远寂寞

3 ）通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人才是真正爱你的人

4 ）有时候不是对方不在乎你而是你把对方看得太重

5 ）冷漠有时候并不是无情只是一种避免被伤害的工具

6 ）如果我们之间有1000 步的距离你只要跨出第一步
我就会朝你的方向走其余的999 步

7 ）为你的难过而快乐的是敌人
为你的快乐而快乐的是朋友
为你的难过而难过的就是那些该放进心里的人

8 ）就算是believe 中间也藏了一个lie

9 ）真正的好朋友并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题
而是在一起就算不说话也不会感到尴尬

10 ）朋友就是被你看透了还喜欢你的人

2007-11-23T00:04:00.000+08:00

yayness!! Changed skin again nya... the white skin was too glaring for me... hehex... XD... anyways... got a new tagboard... cos the cbox was too boxy for my taste.. lol... the board looks so nice and empty nya... XD lol..

Oh ya... went to the Sing Out concert just now... it was fun nya!!! hahax... didnt shout for an encore T.T haix... oh well... next time then do nya... ^^

i swear there's this totally drool-worthy guy in PHS and the black-tie soloist is so cool nya!!

been crazy over this j-drama called HERO recently... the movies out but nobody to 'pei' me watch TT.TT... oh well... will wait for the dvd to come... ^^

~~once upon a time i may have accepted u but now im too fond of independance and freedom... just give it up...~~

2007-11-21T21:54:00.000+08:00

HELLO!! me back nya... ^^ hahax... have been v busy anime-ing recently... lol... XD... that is after choir... lol.... have been like super busy nya... so many things to do... am emceeing for the concert so im like super nervous... and i swear that i seriouuly am unable to sound natural when talking slowly... sheesh... not everyone can talk slowly... X.X...oh ya... i am obsessed by Hebe recently... but anime and manga are have more piority [did i spell that rite???]... lol... anyway, i am currently in love with this song mainly cos Hebe sang it at the Taiwan Concert... and here is She's The One sung by Hebe Tian of S.H.E... lol... the visual part aint that accurate... lol... the uploader's fault not mine... lol...

2007-11-14T22:20:00.000+08:00

This is Hotaru Koi as sung by the Tokyo Ladies' Consort SAYAKA and conducted by Ko Matsushita... SUGOI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hotaru Koi

2007-11-14T20:40:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! I got this off some webbie nya... Its slightly vulgur but quite amusing... lol... its about how British people can still sound so prim and proper after being punched... lol... check it out!

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1786427

2007-11-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! hahax... this is EXTREMELY late... but wad the heck... juz wanna share the cuteness of Mrs. Lim's farewell gifts... *sobs* lol...

This is the envelope designed by RACHEL

lol... lame but cute ^^

ok... the shots aint the best in the world but wad the heck hahax... lol...

Start crying nya! *hands out tissue*

Ok... Now for the personal prezzie we got for Mrs Lim... obviously the card was a class thing lol...

Side view lol... SO CUTE RIGHT?!

Front view... EVEN CUTER!!!

Wy and the bear... hahax...

Jy and the bear...

*Sobs*... Zoe and i didnt get a chance to take a pic wif the bear cos wy and jy were busy cooing over it ( T.T )

Mrs Lim and the bear... so sweet nya..

2007-11-07T20:55:00.000+08:00

I've been supressing this for a very long time so please take no offence to what ever i say. To the one it is referring to, please take note. I will not say sorry for saying this. Thank you.

OLIVIA ONG IS NOT A FRIGGIN INVISIBLE PERSON!!!

SHE HAS HER OWN THOUGHTS AS WELL AS IDEAS TOO!

SHE DESERVES HER OWN SAY IN THINGS!

JUST B'COS SHE KEEPS QUIET DOES NOT MEAN SHE'S A MUTE AND THEREFORE HAS NOTHING TO SAY!

GET YOUR FRIGGIN FACTS RIGHT WOMEN!

well now... since ive finally got that off my chest i would like to proclaim something : The War is NOT over! My way of doing things are different from others... Please get that right. Thank you.

okie... end of announcement. Let's get back to life...

2007-10-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

Ok... yes im back extrememly fast... lol... just felt v bored so i decided to put up the meanings of The promise of the world, the translation both eng. and chi... the chi is better though... yes im actually saying/typing that... but its true nya... chi translation tends to get the message across better than the eng. translation... lol... Here it is, enjoy! ^^

namidano okuni yuragu hohoemiwa
涙の奥にゆらぐほほえみは
在泪水中飘摇的微笑是
Beyond these tears. My flickering smile

tokino hajimekarano seka i no yakusoku
时の始めからの世界の约束
时间开始时就有的世界的约定
Holds the Promise of Love from the beginning of time

imawa hitoridemo futarino kino u kara
いまは一人でも二人の昨日から
既是是一个人的现在，也是从那两个人在一起的昨天而来的
Even though I am alone now, this day is born a-glow

kyou wa u marekirameku
今日は生まれきらめく
今天如此璀璨的存在
With the light of our yesterdays

hajimete atta hino youni
初めて会った日のように
就像初次见面的那天一样
like the first time we spoke

omoidano uchini anatawa i na i
思い出のうちにあなたはいない
你并不在我的记忆里
Somehow I lost you amongst all my memories

soyokazeto natte hohoni furetekuru
そよかぜとなって頬に触れてくる
而是变成了轻轻的风，来抚慰我的脸庞
You brush past my face, softly like a breeze

kimorehino gogo no wakareno atomo
木漏れ日の午后の别れのあとも
阳光从树影间倾泻的，那个离别的下午之后也是
Though we slipped apart like the sunlight through the leaves

kesshite owaranai sekainoyakusoku
决して终わらない世界の约束
决定了的，没有终点的，世界的约定
The Promise of Love will live on eternally

imawa hitoridemo ashitawa kagirinai
いまは一人でも明日は限りない
既是是一个人的现在，明天却是没有尽头的
Even though I am alone now, my tomorrows are boundless

anataga oshietekureta
あなたが教えてくれた
你曾经给我的那些
Like the Kindness you showed me

yoruni hisomu yasashisa
夜にひそむやさしさ
暗藏在黑夜里的温柔
Hidden in the night

omoidanouchini anatawa inai
思い出のうちにあなたはいない
你并不在我的记忆里
Somehow I lost you among all my memories

seseraginoutani konosoranoironi
せせらぎの歌にこの空の色に
在小溪的歌声里，在这个天空的颜色里
In a brook's gentle laughter, in the depth of the sky

hanano kawarini itsumademo ikite
花の香りにいつまでも生きて
在花的香味里，不管到什么时候，你都在那里
In a scent of a flower, you will live on eternally

Its so beautiful nya... *sighz*... lol... hahax...

2007-10-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

Hello!!! No i'm not resurrecting my blog... just posting an amv... my blog is most likely to become an mv/amv place from now on ><> the ending theme... Its the Promise of the World [世界の约束] maybe i'll put up the lyrics and all but see how 1st... lol... anyways... here it is... Enjoy! ^^

世界の约束

2007-08-18T14:37:00.000+08:00

why do parents always think they know their children?
how do u noe that that is what is really suitable for me?
just because of some inconvenience to u u make me go for something i'd rather not
if i say its not suitable for me its not
after all im me... i noe myself
im not some 5 year old who doesnt noe about life
im freakin 14... dont baby me
im not really that happy there anyway; i've outgrown it already
i go i become melancholy and that aint v nice
i dont see the need to go
but since u are who u are i dont really have a choice do i
i accept this event for now but soon things will be different...
you'll see

2007-08-09T23:39:00.001+08:00

i feel so suffocated...
why do people seek to control something that shouldn't be controlled?
why do they use such domineering ways?
when has what i do been turned into another's?
what is happening to my world?
i acknowledge the need for a guardian
but this is taking it too far
the grasp of another is suffocating
and not just one but 3
and yet another is unseen
i did not deserve censure
yet one after another all have turned
a want to be loved has turned into closure
isolated im at my prime
and yet the hunger for acknowledgment is overwhelming
no matter how many times
the whip has fallen
still i return
resentment was meant for another
slowly the fear turns to hate
wanting love but finding censure
what will await my state
fate wants to play with me
but my destiny is mine
desiring freedom but locked in chains
one day sweet freedom will be mine
one day
somehow
someway

2007-08-09T15:41:00.000+08:00

this is the lyrics for this year's song... im only doing this cos im being super lame and am hoping to delay the time that i have to go to my granny's house... sobs... T.T lol... NOTE = most frequent word(s) used in song is will you... pressure lol.. hahax

Singapore National Day Parade (NDP) 2007 theme song,
Will You.
Singers: Jadani Sridhar, Asha Edmund, Emma Yong, Lily Ann Rahmat, JaiWahab, Shabir Mohammed, Sebastian Tan, Gani Karim
Music & Lyrics by: Jimmy Ye
Lyrics:
Will you make this island
Amazing in all ways?
Surprises every corner,
Delightful nights and days.
Will you take this country
And turn it from a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face?
Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?
So... Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...
Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?
Will you take this city
And turn it into a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face
Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?
So... Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And... Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?
Dare to find, dare to find, dare to find new ways!

2007-08-09T15:36:00.001+08:00

this is this year's song... lol.. the guy in the suit is so extra lol... if you do what he's doing while walking down CBD everyone will stone at you and not to mention security will most likely detain u or something XD... lol... beta not say anymore... later go jail.. XX i particulary like the part where the dancers dance on water... the effect is awesome! ^^

2007-08-09T15:32:00.000+08:00

suddenly feeling v patriotic so decided to put this mv of the One People One Nation One Singapore song.. dam its my fav national day song... this year's song is not bad but could have been much much much better XD... enjy the video! ^^

2007-08-09T15:14:00.000+08:00

ok part2...

yesterday wy, zoe, jy and i went to bugis to.... EAT ! hahax... bu seriously... the food there is dam good! lolx... we went there too early so wended up having to walk around doing nothing... hahax... it wa really fun! wy tried to shake us off nd according to her, its really easy to shake off zoe and jy but not me XD... hahax... apparantly i noe her too well.. lol... wadeva... yar... so we went to makan and then went to take neoprint before coming to my house! ^^ we worked on the cme project for some time before zoe, jy and i went outside to watch CSI! wy was happily playing solitare in the room lol.. =.= ... feeling v happy... dunno y... lol... moodswing moodswing XD.. hahax...

2007-08-09T14:50:00.000+08:00

Happy National Day!! hahax... ok i know that im totally late in posting this but wadeva.. will post about wy, zoe, jy and i going out yesterday later.. this post wil be about the raffles girl's concert and the GM recording...

ok... 20 ppl from choir got selected to do a recording... we did a recording of ou school song lol... its so lame lor... cannot believe that we actually have to do this kind of ridiculous thing... haix... but the studion was so COOL!!! so awesome lor... lol.... its like sound-proof and has this totally sensitive mike and we haf to wear this really weird head phones that are totally uncomfortable and diff to tune wif lol... end up mr, lee got really irritated with many grps cos we couldnt tune properly...lol... its really super diff to tune lor... i ended recording wif diff ppl 3 times... so sian... 1st was wif simin and huilun... 2nd wif zoe, wk, and simin... last wif hl, wk and simin... and yes i realized that most of the ppl are the same lol... sobs i dun wanna hear my freakin voice over the PA system!!! *sobs* haix...
anyway... after that we went back to school to get our bags and all... haix... so irritating... end up getting psed... lol... but the person and us made up so its ok i guess... we didnt haf time so we( wendy, zoe, choonhon, me) chionged to the hawker nearby... we like ran there lol... displaying all for one one for all spirit... was super lame but it was fun lor... and gave me a totally warm feeling inside... and no that's not cos its was hot... lol...
after that all the choir went for the RGS concert... it was SO AWESOME!!!! its like... wow u noe?! dunno how to describe the feelings that were present when listening to them.... no wonder their a Gold choir... hahax... but really... i wont be forgetting that concert for quite some time... ^^

2007-08-04T21:28:00.000+08:00

back from the zhuhai performance... haix... could have been at FOP... haix... yes i noe i haf been complaining about this topic for like forever but its really dam annoying lor... sry for being so bitchy during this period... tanks for puttng up with me :) you guys rock! ^^ hahax... i wun complain about it anymore cos muz move on lol.... i sound as if i shi lian le... hahax... haix being an SL is so mahfan... everything oso my business... sian... i dun like it but muz persevere on! JIA YOU!!!! hahax... im doing the CME powerpoint now... sian... we(wy,jy, zoe, me) are doing on hinduism... pls note that we just started this friday so v good liao... ^^ haix... i did the ppt then send to the others but then they cant open the file =.=lll so irritating lor... lolx.. anyway someone edited it and sent it back to me... to be truthful i didn't like what i saw... there were too many borders of colours that were not complementory... lol... and the titles dont really match and the changed effects didnt really make a statement and not to mention the resizing didnt really work... but there were good changes as well...such as the colours of here and there and the compiling of all the names... so thank u somebody... i would say this to ur face but its mean and i cant do it so ya... will find a compromise... ^^

2007-07-29T00:13:00.000+08:00

i am never gonna send ANYTHING to a radio station again... for those whom i msged about the shoutout im sooooooooooooooooo sry and just to let u guys noe, what i basically said was, 'frm olivia to wanying, zoe, jiaying, wendy, weekeng, huilun, gekchuan, choon hon. GM choir members and all my frens, u guys are the BEST! ^^' well in the end they played the song but didnt read out the message... haix... wadeva la... anyway i sent it out cos of sheer boredom... hahax... the power of sian-ness. XD so... ya... sry guys but thanks for listening in anyway and i juz wanna let u noe that u all are the best frens anyone could have and im so blessed to be able to call u all my frens... Love ya'all!! ^^

2007-07-28T10:06:00.000+08:00

Sian mom is home so i muz be guai... sian... so now i muz be a guai kia and do my homework... dammit... wads the point of giving homework when i can find all the answers in books and all that... v helpful hor making me do... oh well at least it improves my copying skills... XD hahax... got to go le... muz do homework muz do homework muz not sidetrack muz not sidetrack muz be guai kia muz be guai kia... lol... hahax ^^

2007-07-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

kns... wadeva lor... everytime see me 1st ting u say is y ur skin like tt and all tt crap...
kns la....
i noe bloody well how to wash my freakin face thank you very much... and its MY face not yours so i believe i noe my face beta than u....
walao... usually not here then when here wanna control everything...
sry for not havin perfect skin lor...
still say wad skin is this la that la... walao... evrytime see me always say that... u not tired of it i am ok... haix...

2007-07-27T20:30:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! yes im bak... hahax... yay its a FRIDAY!!! WOOOHOO!!! and yes i am high hahax... god noe why though ^^ anyway we finally got our lockers today... me being a good student stuffed almost all the books underneath my table into the locker... so guai rite! ^^ hahax.. lol.... haix... muz i do my hw??? dun do can? *-* lol.... lame... i will do it tmr lol... and tmr i will say i will do it tmr and on mon i will just chiong inj class as per norm! ^^ hahax...

2007-07-24T04:26:00.000+08:00

mornin.... haix... i seem to have an inability to stay asleep... wth.... sianz... nthing to do lor... anyway... zhong zhong is gonna make me go for some chi remedial... wadeva... like im gonna listn anyway... sian... dun wanna go but cant pon... apparantly its a stupid compulsory rule thing made by the stupid school... oh pur-lease... i pulled up my freakin grade from a D7 to a C5 and they are still not happy.... chicken mcnugget lor.... haix..... wadeva la.... i go watch anime liao....

2007-07-22T06:14:00.000+08:00

hello! yes i noe its like 6 in the morn on a SUNDAY but i cant sleep so wad the heck... actually im waiting for the rain to stop so i can go out and buy batteries... yes im in desperate need for batteries and there's not a single one in the house so im basically sneaking out to get them XD... cant let my parents noe cos they'll most likely give me the lecture about buying them beforehand and all that... so ya... im waiting... and thank god for the com p ^^

2007-07-20T20:12:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!! ^^ v long nvr post liao so im updating... *obviously* and yes im high so live wif it XD! hahax... anyway... today we presented previously written sentences in class ^^ hahax... my grp's sentences were like super morbid lol... things like 'the silk shawl flowed from my hand like water to land at my feet in a blood red pool' lol.... tok about insanity..... i feel so goth but who cares! ^^ kkz.... gotta go... buai... ^^

2007-07-15T00:52:00.000+08:00

And yes I AM BACK!!! haix.. soooooooooooo many things happened recently but i couldnt post them cos my computer crashed... *sobs*... lol... anyway... computer is back again so it ok ler.... ^^ yukata... hahax... lol... gonna perform for hongkees on mon... sian they dun even let us have the day off... after returning to school still must go back for class... wth... haix... so sian... yes i realize its currently 12.55am but wadeva... anyway tomorrow going 4th service so its ok! ^^ hahax...

2007-07-06T23:09:00.000+08:00

rite now im really hating life...
guess wad...
im gonna get phy and math tuition now...
there goes my tues and thurs...
shit...
oh god...
mother was all cold and giving the im disappointed in u tok...
but she didnt scold...
apparantly its bcos she was too tired of my... behaviour or wadeva shit...
she's not the only one pissed rite now...
i dun understand phys...
never did never will...
so sue me...
as for math she didnt even bother abt my e math...
just went on and on abt how bad i did for math...
and how this affects jc and all...
and how choir is affecting my results...
and how she wun heisitate to pull me out of choir...
shld this continue...
plus i cant watch anime anymore...
im a normal kid not some freakin study slave...
anyway...
life just sux...

2007-07-06T22:27:00.000+08:00

i dont noe wad happed but just came up wif a poem... its below... lol... haix... in case some ppl misunderstand... i am NOT a lesbian ok? so pls dun misinterprete... lol...

2007-07-06T22:11:00.000+08:00

as the nite draws on longer and longer
my fear grows more and more
half of me wants to run
half of me wants to stand tall
what should i do to make her happy
what can i do to make her proud
to air my views or to not
is smthing i must decide
but when the time comes
will everything fall apart
if this shall be the end of me
i just want you to know
i pray that u will be happy
i dream that you will stand proud
i hope for your joy, peace and favor
but above all else i wish you love.
Sayonara...

2007-07-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

hello... frm now onwards i will live to the fullest cos my life ends tonight.
today's meet the parents session(mps) ... a retarded programme created by even more retarded people... lol...
well... as many ppl noe... i flunked physics and just barely scraped pass A math and i got a c5 for chi.... wich is like... wow already... tink abt this way from a d7 i pulled it all the way up to a c5... i freakin skipped TWO grades but is she happy? NOOOOO....
i dun get it... fine i noe i flunked for physics but... i just dun get it ok?! no matter how much i study i still barely pass or just fail...
as for A math i noe its my fault... i didnt call tcher candice to come even when i had the free time and for that im sorry. i learnt my lesson...
and finally theres the issue of me being outspoken in class... cos zhong zhong nvr cum for mps mrs lim ended up telling mother abt this... and guess wad... apparantly, zhong zhong specifically made mrs lim to tell my mom abt my "outspokeness"... wth....
somemore guess wad she wrote on my comments slip... *..... she needs to improve on her CHINESE more* wtf.... i FLUNKED physics... i PASSED wif a C5 for chi!!
a normal person would say tt i nid to improve on my physics.... but NOOOOOOOO all she cares abt is her f***ing sub... and yes im getting v vulgur but wadeva... im pissed and scared ok!
my mother had to rush off for a meeting so i was so called 'spared' in class but her exact words were: "i'll talk to you at night"
GOD SAVE ME!!! im scared... just so scared... wads gonna happen... its like... i work... ok maybe not hard but i work at my studies.... and everytime she'll ask abt my studying and obviously doubts my ans tt i study... its like... ur nt at home so u obviously cant see me studying... then at nite when u FINALLY come bak im nt studying cos its like so obviously late... like.... argh....
and u actually believe that stupid f***ing tcher of mine?! i cant believe it...
and now... ur obviously gonna rant at me abt aggregate and all that but give me a break... i noe i did wrong and im sry abt it...
i just wanna live... i wish u were at home more and i noe thats super selfish of me... im sry...
i wanted to call father just now... i dunno why but im scared of that too... i mean i practically walked out on him and now i 'return' cos of this? no way... and besides... he'll probably wanna tok abt our relationship and i just cant handle tt rite now... or ever...
so i.... i just dunno wad to do... but somehow i noe everything will turn out rite...
its like so great to have someone u can turn to 24/7... daddy god is like... there u noe... and when i go to him wif all my probs he listens and makes everything better... its like after i gave him all my burdens and all that... i heard this song float into my head and its like daddy god is telling me to not worry...
to think aby his love, think abt his gdness, think abt his grace tt brought us through, for as high as the heavens above, so great is the measure of our father's love....
im touched u noe.... that he'll listen and comfort me when im scared or hurt or whatever... its so awesome u noe cos nowadays... not many will do tt...
so i just wanna end by saying thank you so much daddy god; jesus... thank u for all u've done for me and im just... im just so so so grateful... thank you...

2007-07-02T12:28:00.000+08:00

yayness!! arts nite is OVER!! hahax... yes i know im posting this slightly late but wadeva... lol... we took like alot of pics... for what im not sure but wadeva.... lol... haix.... muz do SS and chi muz do SS and chi... sian lor... lolx...

2007-06-26T19:21:00.000+08:00

sian.... bak from arts nite prac.... goodness... the ending song is like so super retarded... its like a nursery rhyme or something... anyway WAY TO GO HL!!! YOU DID GREAT!!! ^^ hahax.... hl conducted during our rehersal today![ (^^)v ] its like the 1st time so her 'performance' was like... gd... lol... dunno how to describe... gtg eat dinner liao... haix... now my stupid dinner muz be taken AT 7.30... wad kind of stupid rule is that?! lol... parents... sheesh... wadeva.... buai buai

2007-06-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

today was the 1st day of sch...boooooooooo.... lol... i am bored already... not gonna comment abt the new site cos... its bad to say bad stuff about other things... XD.... lol... anyway... went out wif zoe today... went to geylan library to remake my card ^^ SUCCESS!! ^^ hahax... lol... then went to bedok and met her 'kor'.... main point of post --> i made a most inane but true theory today....

"It is never a girl's fault, the fault alwyas lies with the guy. Even if it is the girl's fault, it is the guy's fault as it's not his fault!" get it? lol.... pretty lame but wadeva... hahax.... gotta go sleep now... dam curfew... haix.... lol.... nitez

2007-06-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

posting! hahax... yes yes... aft a v looooooooooooooooooooooooong time i am finally posting... lol... i did my geog hw today! or at least i tried to XD.... hey! the ques were diff! lol.... not planning to do SS... why? cos its SS.... yes that is the best ans in the world... lol... was gonna do math but then........ my frikin calculator ran out of batt... and the sun wasnt exactly strong today.... so in the end, my hardworkin attitide sort of... ran dry... wadeva... tomorrow i'll continue being a gd student ^^ lol.... today someone said that im indecisive.... lol... k la... i ownself admit... at times really dunno wad to do lol... so pls bear wif me while i get my bearings! ^^ arigatok! oh ya!! www.veoh.com is the BEST site i have EVER found!!! its like 100000000000000000x better than youtube.... yay! all my animes can finally be watched! MUAHAHAHAHA!!! lol... hahax....

2007-06-12T22:13:00.000+08:00

yup yup both romanji and eng lyrics are up ^^ ... jap below eng on top lol.... enjoy bah.... ^^

2007-06-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

I'm sure that the heart I left behind
still lies hidden in the heart of the deep, deep forest.

Exhausted, without the strength to search
people vanish into the infinite darkness.

If it's so small, I wonder if I can see it even now?
As we live on,
we lose a little bit more.
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,
we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out

The days pass by and change,
without us even realizing how blue the sky really is.

Overcoming that made-up scheme, we live the present,
and our rusted hearts begin to beat again!

If we can find the rhythm of time, we can fly once again

We live our lives
wandering to the ends of the earth.
Believing (in you?), now I begin my journey with you,
in search of the light.

As we live on,
we lose a little bit more.
Shrouded in falsehoods and lies,
we stand frozen to the spot, unable to cry out

We live our lives
wandering to the ends of the earth.
Closing off
the way back,
we walk on for eternity.

We live our lives standing frozen to the spot,
unable to cry out, for eternity...

2007-06-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

fukai fukai mori no oku ni ima mo kitto
okizari ni shita kokoro kakushite'ru yo

sagasu hodo no chikara mo naku tsukarehateta
hitobito wa eien no yami ni kieru

chisai mama nara kitto ima demo mieta ka na

boku-tachi wa ikiru hodo ni
nakushite'ku sukoshi zutsu
itsuwari ya uso wo matoi
tachisukumu koe mo naku

aoi aoi sora no iro mo kidzukanai mama
sugite yuku mainichi ga kawatte yuku

tsukurareta wakugumi wo koe ima wo ikite
sabitsuita kokoro mata ugokidasu yo

toki no RIZUMU wo shireba mo ichido toberu darou

boku-tachi wa samayoi nagara
ikite yuku doko made mo
shinjite'ru hikari motome
arukidasu kimi to ima

boku-tachi wa ikiru hodo ni
nakushite'ku sukoshi zutsu
itsuwari ya uso wo matoi
tachisukumu koe mo naku

boku-tachi wa samayoi nagara
ikite yuku doko made mo
furikaeru
michi wo tozashi
aruite'ku eien ni

tachisukumu koe mo naku
ikite yuku eien ni

2007-06-12T21:30:00.000+08:00

gonna put up the lurics for fukari mori.... this song is really beautiful. its like... even if u dunno the meaning of the words it still like sorts of reaches out and touches u or something... at least its like that for me la... then when i found the eng translation, the impact of the song is even greater... the lyrics are really beautiful/meaningful.... actually the entire song is... lol... its like... wow.... lol...

2007-05-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

yayness!! finally managed to put up songs on moi blog... lol... anyway, im gonna put up song lyrics for each of the songs... lol... see how la... maybe will maybe wont... lol... here's the lyrics for
My will wich is a inuyasha soundtrack...

My Will

sotto mezameru
hakanai omoi zutto
donna toki demo negau yo
anata ni todoku you ni to...

ato sukoshi to yuu kyori ga fumidasenakute
itsumo me no mae wa tozasarete-ita no
aitai aenai hibi wo kasaneru tabi ni
tsuyoi tokimeki wa setsunasa ni naru yo

moshimo eien to yuu mono ga aru nara
toomawari shite demo shinjite mitai
bukiyou dakara KIZUtsuku koto mo aru to
wakatte mo tomaranai mou dare ni mo makenai

anata no koto wo omou
sore dake de namida ga
ima afuredashite kuru yo
hakanai omoi zutto
donna toki demo negau yo
anata ni todoku you ni to...

tsuyogaru koto dake shiri-sugite-ita watashi
dakedo ano toki kara mayoi wa kieta yo

misetai to omou mono ga kitto atte
kikasetai kotoba mo takusan aru
egao nakigao mo zenbu mite hoshikute
matte-iru watashi wa yamete
CHANSU wo tsukamu yo

anata no koto wo omou
sore dake de kokoro ga
tsuyoku nareru ki ga suru yo
hakanai omoi zutto
donna toki demo negau yo
anata ni todoku you ni to...

anata no koto wo omou
sore dake de namida ga
ima afuredashite kuru yo
tookute koe ga todokanai dakedo itsuka wa
kanarazu todoku you ni
shinjite la la la la la la...
shinjite la la la la la la...
shinjite la la la la la la...

This is the romanji version... eng version below ^^

My Will - English

Quietly awakening...
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...

Unable to move forward across just a little more distance
The way I see before me is always blocked
Every time the days I want to see you but can't pile up,
My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak.

If there is such a thing as eternity,
I want to believe, even if I have to take the long way.
Although I know that I've been hurt before because I'm clumsy
I won't stop; I won't give in to anyone.

I think of you
and that alone is enough
to make the tears start to flow now
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...

I've known all too well about pretending to be strong.
But since then, my doubts have vanished.

There's definitely things I want to show you
And so many words I want to hear
I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry
So I'll stop waiting
and seize my chance.

I think of you,
and I feel like that alone is enough
to make my heart grow stronger.
I always, always wish
that these fleeting thoughts
would reach you...

I think of you
and that alone is enough
to make the tears start to flow now
My distant voice can't reach you now, but so that someday
it definitely will...
Believe. la la la la la la...
Believe. la la la la la la...
Believe. la la la la la la...

yup yup.... that's the english translation of My Will... Inuyasha is an absolutely amazing; awesome; magnifique; etc etc anime... yes im stating to rant abt how awesome inuyasha is... XD hahax.... ^^ nite nite! ^^

2007-05-25T21:12:00.000+08:00

yayness!!! hols are here!!!! but then got so much hw and choir practices that its like almost as if there is still sch going on as per norm... lol... sian... arts nite is on 29 and 30 june.... we (the choir ^^) are gonna be singin our 3 syf pieces... so practices now are just cleaning up and toning and stuff.... lol... anyway... moi results are like super bad... hai.... but thank god... i oni fail 1 sub... phew... my overall grades are...

eng - a2
chi - c5 *amazing... i couldnt believe it...*
com humans - c5
e math - b3 *hai... 0.2 marks more can get a2 le....*
a math - c6 *heng sia... thank god for my previous good grade.... phew...*
bio - b4
chem - b3
phy - d7 *hai.... 0.4 marks more can pass liao...*

so ya.... i flunked physics.... thats so sucky lor.... was so close.... hai.... cant do anything abt it now... *sobs* lol... so now gonna jia you and i will pass phy somehow someway! mua hahahahaha... lol... sry... being super lame.... lol...

2007-05-10T11:32:00.000+08:00

sian.... tmr is geog and a math but i dun wanna study.... haix.... no choice nya.... sian.... yawns....

2007-05-07T15:26:00.000+08:00

today was the eng exam.... sian lor... lol... anyway, apparantly i became super philosophical for compo sec 1... haix.... according to zoe, i was possessed by a philosopher while writing the 1st para of my sec1 compo.... there are like 5 ques...

an unpopular person
wad do u imagine schs will be like 10 yrs frm now
write abt an occasion wen u were able to overcome ur innermost fear
time
comps are more abused than used. do u agree?

i chose ques 3... reason being...

1 - wanted to do this ques at 1st... even had the entire story plan in head... then the philosopher took over and so i decided to do 3... actuallly i also had a philosophy phrase for ques 1... prob is... i cant remember it now XD
2 - was quite interested in this but then i saw no.3...
3 - yup inner philosopher came out....
4 - had a pretty vague storyline for this but then madonna 's hung up came into my head... 'time goes by... so slowly time goes by so slowly' i hate that song *no offence to ppl who like it* so decided against ques 4...
5 - well.... self critisism is good and all but wadeva... like i myself am a *abuser* of the comp so i dun tink writing this would be.... interesting.... besides... im going against my conscience! lol...

ok.... so basically my 1st para for the compo was like.... woah.... i have nvr in my entire life written smthing like that.... oh man!! where is the not so normal but at least non-philosophical olivia?!?!

my 1st para... according to wad i remember at least XD was something like this...

Fear. Something so simple and yet so deadly. Many people have fallen and many things lost all because of 1 emotion. Fear. Fear of lost, fear of failure, fear of heights even. These are just some of the many fears in society and the list lengthens daily. Fear can make one shake at the knees
and tremble in apprehension but what power there is when it is overcome. This is the story of
how i overcame my fear of fire, not by willpower alone but by something more ironic. Another fear.

pretty stupid rite.... lol...

2007-05-05T15:42:00.000+08:00

im supposed to be studying rite now but wad the heck... so bored... have been staring at my bio file for like... forever... lol... sianz.... going on to geog le... should be more....... i dunno.... new? lol.... yawnz... really wanna go slp but gotta study... dam exams.... they suck so bad... hai.... yawn.....

REPLY TO TAGS

2007-05-04T22:10:00.000+08:00

Gc - updated ler... lol...
Sandra - lol... now its black.... hahax ^^
Huiyu - LINKED!
wendiie - updated...
denise - awww.... hahax.... lol.... will come soon
lovebound - why yes my dear fren yes i haf forgotten so there! hahax
wendiie - yes wendy a thousand yrs have passed ler... X)
lovebound - All the best!!

ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR

EXAMS!!!

GAMBATTE!!!

JIA YOU!

ADD OIL! ^^

2007-05-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

HELLO I AM BACK!! hahax... yes i realixed it has been forever since i last posted... XD... pretty ironic how im posting just a few days to the exams nya? hahax... haix... so much has happened the last few weeks/months... i dont really wanna 'relive' all that so im not gonna do any posts on those events... lol... anyway... ppl like zoe and hl would have done posts on the events so mine are unnecessary... lol... anyway... have changed my skin... new skin new beginnings.... lol... wad has happed to the not-so-philosophical olivia.... hahax... and oh yeah.... Sadism is the way to live! ^^

2007-04-13T20:18:00.000+08:00

haha finally after a thousand years i decided to post... ^^ lol... alot of things haf happed recently... some gd some bad lol... syf is coming soon.... super xcited!! ^^ quite frankly the oni reason y im actually posting today is cos the post can be kept relatively short... XD yes im lazy and it rox being so! XD lol... todae st gabriel's choir came for a choir xchange... lol... apparantly everyone is forbidden frm saying a word abt today so i gotta shuddap.... hahax... lol... tmr going for a cip thing at hougang wif xy zoe and jy... lol... finally i can get cip hours... god noes i nid em... hahax... lol..

2007-03-28T20:39:00.000+08:00

today started out fairly well until just recently only... guess wad... 1st i had to swallow my pride to ask for assistance frm a guy... 2nd, i got called up by tt stupid clock AGAIN and 3rd im gettin ignored cos i ended up bathing late cos of helping ppl... argh... stupid life....

2007-03-28T19:57:00.000+08:00

dam dam dam.... ms choong is such a f-ing bitch... walao la.... she f-ing called again la.. wa lao ey... lucky this time my mom not at hm go overseas... too angry to tink rationally now... will type later...

2007-03-26T21:05:00.000+08:00

came bak frm vch! ^^ was fun... we heard the syf pieces of another sch tt ms loh takes... wa lao... i now noe the reason y her face so black sometimes... if dey can get silver, we can get gold wif honours lor... i mean seriously... all of their pieces got accompaniment one... the pianist like old hag somemore... playing in her own small world... nvr look at conducting one lor... tank god for mr huang... he not around we all die die liao... hai... ms loh scold them alot then nvr scold us lor... their faces were like... how come oni we kana scolded! lolx... anyway... i found out tt im wif ying ru, zi suan, aaron and kathleen for sanctus and yingru, sandra and jia hui for dravidian... actually i noe long ago liao but i lazy write... hehex... anyway gonna jia you for syf, for hawaii for cca pts! ^^ GAMBATTE!!

2007-03-24T12:36:00.000+08:00

juz came back from choir... today was testing day... hai... oh ya... syf is on the 24 april... exactly 1 month away! ^^ hai... i got tested 3 times... lol... 1st time beat steady but tense... 2nd time relaxed but beat a little off third time is the same as the 1st... diao... sian... muz go chiong my hw liao... hai....

2007-03-23T21:37:00.000+08:00

juz remembered... turns out wy and i have a *gift* for poetry/ rhymes... lol.... we created a few... there are so many things i wanna say yet i cant cos of well.... the walls have ears and all that... lol... i realized that everytime i tok bad abt some cher, that cher will some how some why find out and say in super obvious ways tt he/she noes abt the complaining... wad the wad man... lol...

2007-03-23T20:35:00.000+08:00

yay!!!! MUMMY BOUGHT INUYASHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gives fangirl shriek* soooooooooooo happy!! ^^ anyway tmr gonna get tested see if can go syf.... haix... i wif charles and cheng qin for everyone sang.... sandra, choon hon, ying ru and ??? for sanctus and dunno whu for dravidian... lol... haix... v scared lor... scared tt tmr cannot make it then cannot go syf... haix.... practising wif zoe over the phone now ^^ lets all work hard and go syf together!!

2007-03-14T19:20:00.000+08:00

great great.... people are so contradictory... 1st they wan me to do hw, so i do, justs so happens i nid the com and wad happs? i get accused of not working and just chatting. so irritating lor... u dun noe wad im doing and u still say me. dun even listen to my explanation. wth la... then u just prance around my room like dunno wad like that... infuriating lor... i nid to do the ****** pw so nid to use com... not my fault that nid to type out data rite?! condemned without reason... so dam unreasonable... wads this man?! so many scolding in such a short period...

got scolded cos i wanted to bathe at 8... i ALWAYS do that wth la
got scolded cos of ms choong
got scolded cos i didnt slp at 10 * its the hols... seriously.... wad kind of hols is this if i cant even play?!*
got scolded cos of the com thing...

guess wad... all this happened before 24h are up... isint there some rule tt says not more than 2 scoldings a day? no? well i'll make one.

another thing... i am not a guru or a ask aunt agony person ok! if u got a prob go fix it urself.... yes im ur fren but i gotta life as well i really dun nid ur probs on top of my own... also... every small little thing doesnt nid to be reported to me... i am not ur keeper or something! urg... over-reacting is dam annoying k... every little thing doesnt mean that its gonna be super bad... honestly u got more than enuf probs for everyone... get sick so often and so long... im startin to get suspicious... annoying man...

hai... gtg bathe ler sian...